


What's the World Coming To?

by only_because3



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_because3/pseuds/only_because3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Normally, he never knows where Natasha is. She’s a spy always, her feet never making a sound when they meet the floor, her breathing unnoticable, and her overall presence never even causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand up. You don’t know Natasha is there until she wants you to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's the World Coming To?

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack. It came from I think three different conversations with my friend about the most random things and it just fit too perfectly I think for Nat and Cap. Key words that inspired this: squeaky leather jacket, Frozen, and steel wool for my vagina

Normally, he never knows where Natasha is. She’s a spy always, her feet never making a sound when they meet the floor, her breathing unnoticable, and her overall presence never even causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand up. You don’t know Natasha is there until she wants you to know.

 

    But he’s sitting in the mess hall, which is fairly loud, eating his lunch when he hears squeaking. At first he thinks it’s just someone’s boots scuffing the linoleum, maybe a chair being pushed around. Except it happens in a pattern. He looks up from his sub and spots the redhead immediately. Natasha’s face is usually blank in a way that borders on angry, but now  her face is set in a weird mix of embarrassment and what other agents have told him is “bitch face.” The noise gets louder the closer she gets to his table and he finds the exact source when she stops to stand in front of him: a new leather jacket.

 

    “You planning on taking that when we head out later this week,” Steve asks after swallowing a bite of his sandwich. “Because I think I’m gonna have to pull rank and veto it.”

 

    “If I don’t break it in by then, you have no worries,” she says as she sits down. The jacket shifts in different ways, creating more unpleasant sounds against itself. Natasha’s face wrinkles. “I’m half tempted to drive over it a few million times.”

 

    “It’ll age it.”

 

    Her eyes narrow. “Wow, I never would have thought.” She pulls out a CD from somewhere on her person and holds it out for him. “Here. We all picked three songs each that we decided you  needed to know.”

 

    He looks at the track listing on the back of the CD case, scanning over the songs. His entire face screws up because none of these songs seem like they belong together at all and he suddenly regrets asking the rest of the Avengers to give him music recommendations. His eyes fall to track number 17. “What is ‘Steel Wool for My Vagina’?”

 

    Natasha perks up, a move which is accompanied by another loud squeak. “What did you just say?”

 

    Steve points to the track as he turns it for her to see. “Is that the name of the song or-”

 

    “No, it’s the band.”

 

    Steve blinks. “Was that your pick?”

 

    Natasha scans the tracks as she shakes her head. “No, Tony’s.” She lets out a breath. “I can’t believe he knows about them.”

 

    “You’ve heard of them before?” She leans back in her chair, an act that would’ve been smooth and natural for her had it not been for the jacket that continues to make noises with every move. “I can’t take you seriously when you wear that.”

 

    Natasha groans and angrily strips off her jacket, all the while making ridiculously squeaky noises. “I take you seriously when you’re all Star Spangled Banner,” she quips and he rolls his eyes. She balls up the jacket and tosses it onto the table. “And yes, you could say I’ve heard of them.” His eyebrows knit together as he takes a drink of water. “I was their lead singer.”

 

    He chokes on the water and she wears her smirk gleefully. “ What ?”

 

    “It was part of an undercover mission way back when.” She shrugs, like it is completely normal for undercover work to include fronting bands. “We never officially recorded anything. Must be a bootleg from a club gig.” She picks up a bunch of grapes he has on his tray. “Don’t tell Tony.”

 

    Under his breath he mutters, “None of this makes sense to me,” and she laughs. “What kind of name is that for a band?”

 

    Natasha shrugs again. “We were a band in Russia. It’s no different from Pussy Riot, though we didn’t do any of their crazy shit.”

 

    “Pussy Riot,” he asks, his voice not stumbling over the first word but a blush definitely starts warming his cheeks.

 

    “I don’t think you’ll like their stuff but check out their wiki page.” She pops two grapes in her mouth and then pulls her phone from her hip. Upon checking the message, she pushes away from the table. “That’s Fury. Give the CD a listen. And do not tell Tony what I told you. I’ll break your leg if you do.”

 

    They smile even though they both know it’s not an empty threat.

 

\--

 

    “Natasha.” Cap’s voice is in her ear but she’s in the middle of sneaking up on their mark so she ignores him. Whatever he needs he can just say or wait because it’s not worth jeopardizing the mission. She drops down from her hideaway soundlessly behind their mark, a man twice her size with at least three weapons on his person. “Natasha.” Cap sounds a little more urgent but still doesn’t elaborate. She focuses on the gait of their mark, noticing how he favors one leg just slightly, and falls into perfect synchronization with him. When Cap says her name a third time, this time opting for Nat, a nickname she doesn’t remember giving him permission to use, she sends a solid kick to the back of their mark’s left knee. He bends and she grabs his wrist, breaking it easily and preempting his go for his gun on the inside of his jacket. Tossing his gun down the hall, Natasha uses her widow’s bite to knock him out.

 

    Cap says her name  again and she sighs heavily as she lets their mark fall limply to the floor. “ What , Steve? Mission successful, by the way.”

 

    “Great. I’ll send agents your way,” he responds, his voice definitely Captain America’s in that moment. But then, in the breath of his pause, it shifts back to Steve. “I finished that mix CD you guys made me.”

 

    She puts cuffs on the man and continues to disarm him as she says, “And,” into her comm, waiting for some comment on Steel Wool for My Vagina.

 

    “And… do you want to build a snowman?”

 

    Her shoulders sag. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? That’s what you were bothering me during a mission for? A Disney song?”

 

    “Come on, Natasha. This was a walk in the park!”

 

    She narrows her eyes even though he can’t see her. “I never should’ve let Thor participate in quality music selections.”


End file.
